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This August

As August begins, I have all kinds of feelings about this month. I remember a year ago in August; I was marking the last month at my former job. It was a dead-end job. I was miserable there. I had worked there for three years and I spent most of that time looking for another job, attending interviews and working as a part-time writer. The job was low-paying and I was unmotivated in all ways possible. I remember hitting rock bottom time and time again. I would have quit the job after the first year but I was scared. I did not want to end up back home with no source of income. Due to my fears, I held on until I had had enough that August. The interesting thing was, I was walking out of that job to become a writer. Writing is my passion and so instead of being scared or nervous, I was simply excited. I planned on taking a short vacation at the Coast before going back to writing. I couldn’t be happier.

 

However, God had other plans for me. I was invited for an interview with my current employer. I hadn’t even applied for the job and I honestly felt that it was above me, but then again, there I was. I remember attending the interview with an apprehension. I had been to many interviews before that had turned out to be just a routine. I didn’t have any expectations. However, it was such a great opportunity so I couldn’t help but hope and pray that I got the job.

 

After the interview, I went back home and as I had earlier on planned, I went on my vacation to the Coast. I had time to unwind and just think as I sat at the beach alone. I had dreams about my writing and I wanted to travel. At my former job, I hade worked for three years without taking anytime off. I was exhausted! However, things suddenly changed, I got called back to Limuru had gotten the job. I couldn’t believe it! I remember staring at my appointment letter, reading and re-reading it. This is too good to be true, I thought to myself.

 

My life moved so fast after that, I moved to Limuru to be closer to work. I still continued writing on the side but later on gave it up so as to concentrate on my job. With the new job, came the money. I was able to do so much that I couldn’t have done before. It was a much better life. I felt truly blessed. At my new job, I made new friends that I wouldn’t have otherwise met. It has been an incredible experience all in all.

 

This August marks the end of my one year contract with my current employer. I have so many mixed feelings. First of all, I am not sure that I will get the job. This is mainly based on my relationship with my boss who has been in turmoil since I got here. Secondly, I am not even sure that I do want the job. It has been a blessing and I have really enjoyed working here but writing calls me. In addition, I don’t feel like I am very good at my job. I work as a Personal Assistant to a high profile person and yet I struggle with procrastination and also inability to being detail-oriented. These are not good qualities in a PA. However, at the same time, I have days when I really enjoy my job. There are times when I get to do so much that makes me happy. In addition, being a PA has allowed me to use my skills in writing and Public Relations. At the same time, my boss has been both a teacher and a mentor to me and I have learned so much from him. At the same time, nothing is stopping me from writing even as I work here.

 

This August, I feel lost. I don’t have the answers. Worse still, I don’t even have the right questions to ask. Unlike last August, there are no excitement and high expectations. There is just me and my uncertainties. This August, I leave it all to God.

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This entry was posted on August 22, 2012 by in Uncategorized.
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