I am just a girl who loves reading and talking about books
In life, it’s always so much easier to blame others for everything that goes wrong in our lives instead of accepting responsibility for the same. However in order to make changes to our lives, we have to accept responsibility for where we are and where we are going.
It’s much easier to blame our bosses for the messes in our careers. If only he paid me better, if only he appreciated me more. Sometimes people go to the extent of blaming their bosses for their inability to secure new jobs. Instead of accepting responsibility for your inexperience or your lack of preparation for an interview that may have cost you the job, it is easier to think that you boss is working behind the scenes to make sure nobody else hires you.
However you need to accept responsibility for your career, if you need to go back to school so as to secure that new job or promotions then do just that. Don’t start blaming the system for setting high academic standards as a job requirement. If you haven’t been sending out applications or being assertive as you ought to be, accept responsibility for that and get out those applications. If you feel that your work environment is not conducive, ask yourself whet you can do to change it. Maybe it’s not as clean as you would want it to be, change that. Maybe your desk isn’t as neat as it ought to be, don’t blame human resources for getting you a small desk, and instead organize your desk. Take responsibility for your career choices, focus on where you started from and what hurdles you had to overcome, instead think about where you would like to go and focus on that.
Don’t stay in an abusive relationship and blame that on your daddy issues or childhood abuse. Accept responsibility for your life, your safe being and happiness. You deserve to be happy and you should learn to prioritize yourself and be responsible for this. Your father may have left when you were young, that was his decision. As hard as it maybe, you need to forgive him and let it go. You could talk to someone about it, get help do whatever you need to do to deal with that issue. Childhood abuse or any other types of abuse most times affect our relationships. However, these too can be overcome. Don’t let your past determine your present and your future. Accept responsibility for your life and get your life straightened out.
Sometimes we blame substances for all our mistakes. People blame alcohol for their marriages not working, for their violent tendencies and for any other hitches in their lives. However, you need to sit down and think about why your marriage didn’t work, alcohol is like a headache. The headache is not the illness but a symptom of an illness. Your anger issues may not be alcohol related, you may need to dig deeper and find out what brings about the outbursts. Your inability to save is not to be blamed on alcohol. It’s your inability to accept responsibility over your finances that keeps you from saving up.
In his book ‘Before you do” T.D. Jakes talks of a “Blame list”. Take some time and think about all the people or elements that you normally blame when things don’t work out in life. Absolve these people of the blame and accept responsibility for the part you play in your own demise. However, don’t extend this to accepting responsibility for other peoples mistakes as this is unhealthy. When you accept responsibility for your present situations, you will learn to accept responsibility for your future.
Note: Over the weekend, i visited my mom. In my old room, there is an old computer that has so many articles that i had done at some point in my life before i started blogging so i had just saved them. I came across this article in my folder and honestly,i don’t remember even writing it. Anyway, it is so beautiful so had to share it.