I believe you

I have been writing for years now. It started out when I was in primary school and we had to write compositions. I had such an active imagination and so used to perform very well. Other students always used to ask to read my compositions.

 

 I enjoyed writing so much that it went beyond class work. I started writing as a hobby. I even wrote my first “novel” which was on an exercise book, handwritten. I gave it to friends to read it and soon lost it as it exchanged hands.

 

In high school, it was pretty much the same. I enjoyed writing and did very well in language classes. I also wrote for fun. At some point, I even used to write poetry for my classmates. They would then send the poems to their “boyfriends”. I don’t know how I used to come up with the poetry and don’t think I can do that now.

 

At the University, I ended up taking a degree course in Language and Literary Studies. This was my fourth option and I never understood why JAB selected me to do that course. My first option was Law, although I don’t know why I wanted to be a lawyer at that point.

 

I joined the University and once again excelled in my studies. I wrote a lot and even got to join a special class for creative writing. Unfortunately, I wrote one short story, got criticized because it was too long and so I dropped the class. I regret making that decision and hope that I didn’t miss a window because of it.

 

After University, I got a job as a Human Resource Officer but I still kept on writing. I did so much SEO writing earning only Kshs.80 per 500words but I was so excited about it. At last, I was writing again. My editor kept encouraging me to write giving me his most important clients and I gave it all I had. At some point though, I lost interest in SEO writing. I was done being a ghost writer. I was done selling my articles to people who then claimed to be the writers yet they paid me peanuts for my creativity. I was just done.

 

Friends then encouraged me to start blogging and so I set up my blog. At first, I got this very weird title “Deedee Excogitates” which was simply supposed to mean that the blog was made up of my thoughts but that word excogitates was quite a mouthful and so I later changed the title of the blog to “Voices in my head”.

 

I am always daydreaming. I think about the most random scenarios and then create a story line for ages. I love daydreaming and I still remember how when I was young, I used to pretend that I was sleeping and then I would immediately start daydreaming. Up to this day, my whole family believes that I love sleeping too much. 

 

My daydreams were always better than my present life. They were like movies that I couldn’t wait to get back to. Weird thing happened, when I started putting my down daydreams on paper, they would then stop. I stopped thinking about them as daydreams or fantasies and started thinking of them as “stories”.  This is why I renamed the blog “The Voices in my head”.

 

My blog was very well received from the first day that I published it. All my friends gave me words of encouragement. People I hadn’t spoken to right from my high school days said that they knew I would someday become a writer. The feedback was actually overwhelming. It was not just coming from friends and family; even strangers wrote to me and gave me feedback that was actually really good. It was interesting bumping into people on the streets, in buses, you know those long lost friends that you haven’t spoken to, and they would say something about the blog. The general view seemed to be, “keep writing Diana…”

 

However, even with all that feedback, I still critiqued my own work. I don’t know why but I still thought that I wasn’t good enough. Every time people would be talking about how good an article was but all I would be focusing are the typos and other errors perceived or real. I was obsessed with critiquing myself and I thought that for some reason, people were just being good to me.

 

However, yesterday something happened. I had written article months before for a submission to an online magazine. The article wasn’t picked. I decided to post the article on my blog and share it with my circle of readers. The article was so well received. I got phone calls, texts, messages, blog and facebook comments telling me that it was good. People said that my writing had grown and I was actually in my element.

 

Wow! I was humbled by each comment and almost cried just listening to my friends, family and even total strangers telling me that I should write for a living.

 

The amazing thing about this time is that, I actually believed them. The article was not perfect; it had a few errors, grammatical and typos. However, for once I decided not to tear it apart trying to make it perfect. Instead, I fell in love with my own writing. I went through my work a couple of times and I told myself, “you did alright Diana; maybe you do have something when it comes to writing”. At that point, I actually believed that I can write. I don’t think I have given the best that I can as far as my writing goes but I think I am doing just alright.

 

Another great thing also happened. I think I have found my genre. I love telling stories, I love creative writing and it actually seems that I am good at it. Maybe that is my line, fictional writing.

 

Interestingly, my friend Angie called me and shared the same view. She told me that I need to start writing short stories. She encouraged me to give it a go and see how it works out. Secondly, my workmate Oliver who is also a writer referred had this to say, “You are one sleeping literary giant, somebody needs to “samba you makofi” uamke!”

Wow, what is more awesome that finding yourself and getting confirmation that you are right on the mark?

 

 

This far that I have come, I thank God. I also thank every person who has encouraged me to keep writing and share my work. I thank every single reader who has paid my blog a visit. There are some of you who always post comments and give feedback. There are others who just visit, lurk around and just leave. They just leave their footsteps behind in form of number of views.

 

Right now my blog views are 2, 347. The countries are represented as follows:

 

Country

Views

Kenya

1,513

United States

245

United Kingdom

29

Germany

27

Canada

16

France

15

United Arab Emirates

15

Uganda

8

Austria

8

Zambia

7

Australia

6

India

5

United Republic of Tanzania

5

Turkey

4

Republic of Korea

4

South Africa

4

Belgium

3

Japan

3

Rwanda

2

Slovakia

2

Malaysia

2

Finland

2

Netherlands

2

Côte d’Ivoire

2

Italy

2

Poland

2

Ireland

2

Viet Nam

1

Indonesia

1

New Zealand

1

Sudan

1

Ukraine

1

Russian Federation

1

Sweden

1

Estonia

1

Saudi Arabia

1

Kuwait

1

Switzerland

1

Djibouti

1

Norway

1

I may never get to visit most of these countries physically but at the same time, I am glad that my writing has gone to places that I will never reach. I have also discovered places that I didn’t know about such as Estonia.

 

NO APOLOGIES

 

1)-Never apologize for pursuing what makes you happy. Even if you need to quit your job, transfer schools, or move across country, always do what you really want.

2) -Never apologize for using proper English. Keeping it real doesn’t mean you have to speak Ebonics…

3) -Never apologize for giving your best in a relationship that just didn’t work out.

4) -Never apologize for crying. Wear waterproof mascara and express yourself.

5) -Never apologize for being successful. Only haters want to keep you at their level.

6) -Never apologize for ten pounds you need to lose. People who truly care about you will accept you as you are.

7) – Never apologize for wearing a weave or braids; it’s an accessory, you bought it so it’s yours.

8) -Never apologize for being frugal. Just because you save your money instead of blowing it on the latest fashion emergency doesn’t mean you’re cheap.

9) -Never apologize for treating yourself to something special. Sometimes you have to show you some appreciation.

10) -Never apologize for demanding respect. You are to always be treated as a Queen.

11) -Never apologize for leaving an abusive relationship. Your safety should always be a priority.

12) – Never apologize for making a decision from your heart, even if others don’t agree YOU have to live with the consequences, not them.

13) -Never apologize for setting high standards in a relationship. You know what you can tolerate and what simply gets on your nerves.

14) -Never apologize for dating outside your race. Just because you found Mr. Right across the colour line doesn’t mean you don’t love your Brothers…

15) -Never apologize to your new friends about old friends. There’s a reason she’s been your girl from day one.

16) – Never apologize to your old friends about ‘new’ friends; God continues to bring His daughters together to uplift each other.

17) –Never apologize for being a single Mom. Babies are a blessing.

18) -Never apologize for saying NO

19) -Never apologize for looking beautiful. You are beautiful.

20) -Never apologize for not knowing how to cook. Even if you can’t burn like Grandma you know how to order good take out. (Right Girl!)

21) -Never apologize for making more money than your man, you work hard and you deserve to get paid.

22) – Never apologize for changing your mind. It’s your prerogative.

23) -Never apologize for someone else’s Bad Day: A friend snaps at you and you’re expected to say sorry? Exactly where is the logic in that?

24) -Never apologize for being honest. People often say, “The truth hurts,” or “you can’t handle the truth,” or “you don’t really want to hear the truth.” The fact of the matter is everyone does WANT the truth.

25) -Never apologize for being alone. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, relish in the opportunity to spoil and cherish yourself…to meet only your demands….to listen to only your requests….. And to tend to only your needs.

26) -Never apologize to anyone for being single! Always remember just like God is working on you; He is also working on your mate and when the time is right you will meet!

27) -Never apologize for being educated and behaving accordingly! Your mama didn’t raise a fool!

28) – Never apologize for refusing to compromise your integrity. Always adhere to your moral and ethical principles.

29) -Never apologize for not tolerating bad behaviour, at home, in public, in the workplace…

30) – Never apologize for taking a break. It’s more healthy and beneficial to literally stop every once in a while to breathe, to let your hair down, to relax, to rejuvenate. It’s necessary.

31) -Never apologize for Investing in Your Looks. Its’ all about feeling confident, not about doing yourself up to land a man. And it makes facials, manicures, pedicures and the sauna worth every cent.

32) -Never apologize for hoping your children will be Cuter than your Friends. Honestly, your pals are hoping the same thing.

33) -Never apologize for being Inexperienced. That doesn’t mean you lack great ideas. So stop prefacing sentences like “…but I did not, I am not, I haven’t…’’ stick to what you’re training for or have been trained in and be proud!

34) -Never apologize for having a Crazy Family: Give your guy & friends a heads up about them, but never insinuate that their problems taint you.

35) -Never apologize for helping others. Be free, do what you want to do, not others, help happily where necessary, only mean people & haters will laugh at you and pull you back.

36) – Never apologize for saying exactly how you feel, only if you have every reason and every right to feel that way. Respect and courtesy must always be present though.

37) –Never apologize for the books you like to read (that’s if you’re a reader). You’re allowed to choose whatever kind of reading material you like. You’re an adult, and well aware of all the choices out there. If romance works for you, read them proudly. People don’t apologize for liking romantic comedies at the movies, or chick flicks. They like them. So what?

38) – Never apologize for where you come from. There is a good reason as to why God meant for you to be born there, it doesn’t matter whether you’re from Asia, Africa, America we are all humans at the end of the day, no one was born in the moon anyway.

39) – Never Apologize for Loving the Lord, for calling His Name, for Having Absolute Faith in Him, He’s your father, He’ll Light Your Path.

40) -Never apologize for being you!

KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT
GOD LOVES YOU AND HE ALWAYS HAS
YOUR BACK

Ps: This list isn’t mine, i found it online some years back and saved it on my laptop. I always read it whenever i feel down or have any doubts on the issues mentioned in the list. So i thought of sharing it with my sisters who hopefully will get something out of it too 🙂