My husband is a stupid man. I am neither kidding nor exaggerating. I really mean it. I mean look at him now. We are in a room full of people and there he is, right in front of everyone and what is he doing, he is crying. To add to the drama, he is actually holding my picture in his hands looking at me like I am his best friend and of course, the waterworks are there. 64 years old and still so dramatic. He disgusts me honestly!
My mind wonders away from the dramatic scene and back to the day when I met him. I was 24, fresh out of campus. I was so ambitious and just hungry for it all. I wanted the good life! The cars, the big house and of course the wardrobe to die for! I wanted it all and fast.
I got my first job just within weeks of graduating. It was low paying and I hated it. I worked hard and barely made enough to feed myself leave alone afford the lifestyle that I wanted. I tried to work harder and even get a side job but still, I couldn’t even make more that 40,000 shillings per month and I was devastated and impatient. Some of my friends from Campus were already living the good life. Some of them were already driving. There were others who were already married too but forget about that, what I wanted was the money, not the ring just yet.
When I met him, I just knew. There was that air around him. He had that look, the successful look. He drove a Range Rover and seemed to be doing well in life. Of course the size of his wallet completely blinded me so much that I looked past his age, big belly and just the overall old man appearance. I wanted to get to riches and well, I had just found my ticket.
His name was Kamau although he liked to introduce himself as Jack. I know what kind of man he is. He is one of those who like to think that they are still young and still got it. I could tell by the way he dressed, the jewellery and just how he carried himself. Jack was definitely over 55 years old but he was trying to act 25. I told you that he is a stupid man. Well now you see!
It wasn’t hard to get him interested in me. He was flattered by my attention and always seemed too eager to please. Jack had a family, a wife and five grown children who were already working. He told me that he had divorced his wife. He accused her of being lazy, boring, insane and too ambitious. She sounded like a piece of work. However, I was so sure that he left her because she didn’t fit into the idea of the kind of wife he wanted. He wanted someone younger to boost his ego and the poor old lady couldn’t do that anymore. Stupid man couldn’t even sit back and enjoy his retirement. He had to go around chasing a life that wasn’t his anymore.
We got married within the first year of meeting. I had hit the jackpot. He was really a rich man. He had the lifestyle that I wanted. I moved into his very big house and soon, he bought me a Mercedes Benz. I got everything that I ever wanted in terms of my material needs.
I remember the excitement that I felt when I first went shopping in London. Then I went to Paris and in Italy, I actually got a pair of shoes right off a Milan catwalk. That was the good life. I also got to travel extensively and visited every place I ever wanted to. The best part of it all, I was a trophy wife! I never had to lift a finger and do anything since Jack took care of me.He showered me with so many gifts. Not one of my wishes was ever denied and I have to admit, it was the good life.
One thing that I used to really resent about him though was the fact that he never used to actually give me the money. If I wanted to go anywhere, he would pay for all the expenses. He bought me the cars but still had his name on the log books. Everything that we had bought together was in his name. When I say together of course I don’t mean that I contributed any money to the purchases but rather he bought them when we were married. I thought he was very selfish and controlling.
I wanted to have my own account where he would deposit a certain amount of money for me weekly or even monthly. This would then help me get access to money whenever I needed it instead of having to ask him each time I needed to buy even the smallest things. He was a peculiar husband that Jack.
I loved my lifestyle but soon I started getting bored. Lying by the pool every day waiting for Jack to come home after work was too tiring. I was so bored. I couldn’t travel without Jack so I had to wait until he was able to take time from his work. In addition, I had to go everywhere with a driver when alone so I couldn’t really hang out with my girlfriends and do fun stuff like going clubbing or anything. I had to just laze around and do nothing all day when he got to go to work and have a great time at work with workmates and all.
It was during one of those boring afternoons when I was seated at the pool, doing nothing as usual when I first saw him. Jack had decided to turn our garage into a guest house and then get a carport for the cars. There were construction guys everywhere. Normally, I wouldn’t notice men like that since well…. They don’t make much money from their jobs I know. There was something about him though. He was around my age and he was one of those guys who are just confident. I was the Jack’s wife and so most men wouldn’t even look at me at all. My husband was powerful and rich and so by default, I was also considered powerful and rich. However, there was something about the young man who I later came to find out was called Saidi.
I started hanging around the construction and soon, I started talking to Saidi. Right off the bat, I realized something. Saidi was actually my male version. He had the same hunger and yearning that I had for the good life when I first met Jack. I could see by the way he kept looking at my phone and openly admiring my car. He kept asking for the prices of different things around my home.
I loved the attention and shamelessly flaunted “my” wealth. I told him about all the places that I have been to and exaggerated on the people that I have met. I told him about famous people that I am friends with. Okay to be honest, I don’t know anyone famous even in Kenya who I can really say is a friend. However, I loved the attention that he was giving me and I knew that in his eyes, I was a super hero of some kind and I loved it.
Long after the construction was complete, I kept seeing Saidi. We came up with a plan where I would pay my driver to take me to the rendezvous. Our relationship grew and for once since I got married, I really started to enjoy life. I still had the lifestyle that I wanted and Jack seemed to have no indication that I had strayed out of the marriage. Saidi was exciting. We had so much to fun together and I actually enjoyed being with people my age again. He was a wonderful companion. We came up with a plan on how I can start getting some money from Jack for my own personal use.
Saidi came up with this genius idea of me telling Jack that I wanted to start a business. It was perfect and I don’t know why I had never thought of it myself. I told Jack that I wanted to set up a clothing stall in town but on the upper side. I told him that this would give me something to do and I knew I would be good at it since I loved shopping so much and I knew about clothes. To my surprise, Jack bought it! He accepted my story and immediately told me to start looking for a stall and get the budget details. Saidi helped me come up with a much exaggerated budget that allowed us to start the business and still get a lot more money to spend on ourselves.
Right from the start, the business was the best cover up. I got a lot of time outside the home and managed to earn some money for my own use. I still used Jack’s money for my personal expenses and upkeep and used my business money to have fun with Saidi.
I told Jack that I would need to go buy stock in Dubai and he funded the trip. I told him that I would be travelling with a friend who also owned a business and so wouldn’t need to travel with my driver or any other person really. Once again, Jack did not suspect anything. He actually offered to meet my friend’s expenses so that we could stay together. Of course the friend that I was travelling with was Saidi!
I will never forget that weekend in Dubai, we had so much fun. For once, we could be a couple in public without looking over our shoulders. We dined, shopped and went dancing. I had never had so much fun in my life before. It was great being around someone young and fun again instead of old Jack.
While in Dubai, Saidi and I discovered that this is the lifestyle that we wanted. Most importantly, we wanted to share this life together. The only obstacle to our dreams was Jack, that old fool. I knew that if I divorced jack then I wouldn’t leave with much. He had a good pre-nuptial agreement that I had signed before we got married and that pretty much meant that I would walk away with absolutely nothing. The more Saidi and I talked, the more it became apparent to us that we would have to get rid of Jack, the old fashioned way, by killing him.
Saidi promised to ask around and see if we could hire someone to do it and make it look like a robbery gone bad. We had heard stories before that there were people who do that kind of thing for a mere fee of Kshs.20, 000. We were excited as we planned our life together. I could imagine taking over all of Jack’s properties. I knew he had cut off the first wife and her children and so I wasn’t expecting any problems from her. We had a bright future head of us.
However, when we went back to Kenya, we quickly realized that it’s not that easy to hire someone to commit a murder. We simply didn’t know who to ask or even where to start. Saidi also hit a wall when he approached people he assumed would take up the offer. We were back to step one with the perfect plan but no idea on how to carry it out.
One day, I got the idea to include my driver in the plot. We figured that if we offered him some money then he would help us. I remember that night; I left with the driver before Jack could get home from work. We agreed to switch off our phones and pretend that there was no network incase Jack asked later on. We then left for a joint at Parklands where we were to meet Saidi. To my surprise, breaking the news to the driver was actually easy. He quickly jumped at the idea although greedily asked us for Kshs.100, 000 for his participation. Knowing how much I was going to get once Jack died, I knew that I could pay the fee that he had asked.
Then the driver told us something quite shocking. He knew of another woman from his hometown that had successfully killed her husband. The answer was pretty simple; just mix his food with rat poison. Saidi and I almost kicked ourselves, seriously how had we not thought of that! However, I congratulated myself for at least having thought of involving the driver. That night, we threw all caution into the wind and started an early celebration. We had a number of drinks, some nyama choma and danced the night away. The driver agreed to buy the poison the next morning and then I was to execute the plan that same evening.
We then made plans on going to Mombasa just the three of us to celebrate our freedom from that monster Jack. We were not stupid people so of course we ironed out the plan for the murder to the teeth and even worked on the mourning period. I was to learn how to dress, what to say and all that is expected of a grieving widow. It was all too exciting.
We left the joint at around 11pm and started driving home. We agreed to drop Saidi at his place and then rush home. We came up with a plan to tell Jack that I had gone out to meet a major client and then we got car trouble and had to stop at a place where there was no network and looked for someone to fix the car. I told you that we were a bright bunch, that plan was genius you see.
We quickly got into town and were soon on Uhuru Highway heading to Saidi’s place at Kikuyu town before proceeding to Runda through Limuru. I remember the mood in tha car, the joking and laughing. We had so many “Jack jokes”, that old man gave us plenty to laugh about. His dressing and his attempt to look like a young man left us in stitches. We were still doubling over with laughter when it happened. The truck seemed to have come from nowhere. It had full headlights on completely blinding our driver. The impact that followed was deafening. The next thing, we were being pushed by the truck off the road. It all happened in a matter of seconds.
The next thing, there were people everywhere. At first, there were hands grabbing things from the car, my purse, our phones, they all disappeared. Then there were other hands pulling us out from the car. I wasn’t feeling hurt; I was actually feeling quite fine. However, I tried to talk, even shouted but people seemed not to hear me at all. This man actually put his ear right next to my face but for some reason, the fool couldn’t hear me say a word. Next thing I know, I was watching the scene and not really being part of it. I mean, I could see myself lying on the ground, eyes wide open; head spilt open, legs twisted at an odd angle and soon someone placing a blanket over my head.
I looked at Saidi and the driver and they were also covered up in blankets. This was all so strange. We were then piled into a police land cruiser and just placed on the floor and rushed to the mortuary where we placed on these steel tables, lying side by side. We were still so young, not even 30 years old and this is what it had come to. I was so angry and I definitely knew whose fault this was, Jack’s! It was his all his fault! If we hadn’t been plotting to kill him then we wouldn’t have been out that night. We wouldn’t have been celebrating by having those drinks. This Mercedes that we had died in, wasn’t it the one Jack bought for me! It was all Jack’s fault and I can’t believe he wasted my life like that. I had dreams; I still had things to do while he is almost 70 years old and has done everything for himself. That man was so selfish!
Now here I am, watching my funeral proceedings and there is that stupid man weeping in front of the mourners. First of all, they used a bad photograph of me. I had other better photos that they could have picked in which my face was well made up and I was looking fabulous. Jack picked a photo where I didn’t have any makeup on! Why am I not surprised? That man annoys me all the way to my grave.
Say what you want, the wages of sin is death, and maybe I deserved to end up like this, its Karma and all that… All I know is that I had dreams and Jack ruined everything honestly.
This is definitely not that the plan that I had for my life and I can’t believe that it has ended this way. That stupid husband of mine!
The wages of sin is death
NB:The pic is from Google images…
This was the first review that our book club ever had. I got to the venue and found three members already there.
I loved this book and really looked forward to the review. I got to Reata where we were to meet and found Viv already there. She had a glass of wine and her laptop open in front of her. She explained that she was working on her thesis. She had started doing her Masters a couple of years back but had to defer for personal reasons. Years later she was now ready to submit her thesis with the hope of graduating in December this year. We sat in silence as I also worked on my assignments before the others arrived.
She arrived late for this review. As usual, Vivian looked stunning. She had just cut her hair short. That was Vivian, confident enough to chop off all her hair and of course she looked exquisite. She was on a new diet and the first thing that she did was place a big bottle of smoothie on the table informing her that was her lunch and dinner. She wasn’t tempted by the Ethiopian food that we were eating or the wine. She had a plan to lose some weight. She mentioned a new guy that she had met. A tall handsome man. Vivian had all sorts of plans. I had to leave the book review early and the last thing that she told me was that I looked great in the African top that I was wearing. ‘I need to get your tailor’s number,’ she added as we said goodbye. I never gave her the number because I assumed that she was kidding. That was the last time that I saw Viv alive.
I was in a bus traveling home from my Easter vacation. I had just started reading this book. Four hours into our journey, our bus broke down and everyone got out as the mechanics came to fix it. It was too hot outside so I stayed in the bus reading. Soon I got distracted and switched on my internet to check my messages on Watsapp. I immediately got a series of messages.
It was nice to have her son but still, she still wished her husband Mark was still around.
This wonderful illustration was done by Mike Fentz
A Haven for Book Lovers 